"Here is what I want to know.. Why didn't they name Killer Whales 'Sea Pandas'..?" -Trey
"I guess they kinda do look like pandas.. Except for the fact that they're a F**KING FISH..!" -Boss..

"Oh Trey, listen, I am extremely glutinous.. I sin all the time and eat whenever I can.. I mean, look at my fat belly.. But still, THAT WOMAN doesn't not need to king size her fries.. King size a salad maybe.. Or the walk to her car.." -Boss

I've, as of recently, gotten very into Snapchatting..! There are some people that I really enjoy seeing on a constant basis so Snapping seems to be the solution.. There is, however, a major problem with Snapchat... Accidentally sending the wrong picture to the wrong person.. Like, sometimes you try to stay as attractive as possible for your crush, and then end up snapping her a picture of you eating a banana and winking which was meant for your best friend.. Yeah.. FAIL..

One of my pet peeves would have to be hypocrisy... Listen, if you post bible verses and scripture on Facebook and Instagram, don't follow up with "nigga" this and "nigga" that. Or the F word.. Or a blunt.. Or you holding a beer while kissing a girl's butt.. All awesome things *gaaaagggg* mind you, but DON'T BE A HYPOCRITE.. I am a self-proclaimed Christian and I love God with all my heart.. Yeah I have faults, and that is why I don't constantly preach at everyone I see or am friends with on Facebook.. It just isn't appropriate for me.. Thus being said, you do that crap and you're gonna get unfriended.. And if I do it or this post offended you, please delete me and make my job easier..

Lastly, why do we hurt.. Humans, as a species and a whole, constantly go through grief and struggles everyday.. I myself hurt daily for many things over many issues.. I am struggling at the moment with important life decisions and personal choices within myself.. But, I don't claim to know the answer, everybody.. So sorry ha.. But I do know that God says He has an ultimate plan for us and he will never leave us nor forsake us..! In Jeremiah 29:11 (favorite and life verse btw) He says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. For they are plans for good and not evil. To give you a future and a hope". Those words are beyond inspiring and help me everyday.. I have my fair share of hard times, and I struggle daily too, but this verse helps.. But I recommend the song "Even If" by Kutless..
And remember, "Not all grief has to be sad.. There is such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.." -Michael Scott

Have a blessed day, peoples..

treykeesee

I took yesterday off because I was in a really crappy mood and didn't want to rant. Yet, due to the overwhelming number of complainers and "Why didn't you post"s, I'll post today..!

"I bet you'd really enjoy backpacking across Europe..!" -Trey
"Yeah.. F**k.. The way I like to walk my fat ass around the property I'd love about a thousand miles of it in a place where I can't even read the menu properly.. There may have been a time, but not this f**king time.." -My boss..

One of the worst things for a guy, ladies, is when he tries to open a door for you, and it's an epic fail. I'm talking like, he hits you with the door, has to push past you to get it, or punches your boob reaching for the handle. FAILURE... The physical and mental effort a guy has to put in to opening a door is tremendous. He has to see the door, assess the situation, check you out one more time before walking ahead of you, then open the door. But here is the thing.. A lot of these buildings nowadays are made by frickin' men-hating psychotics.. So the door will open funny, or be a push in an obvious pull scenario.. One, making the male seem incompetent (of which he probably doesn't need help) and, two, resulting in a straight up left-hook to the boob. Awesome..

I've started re-watching the Office from season 1 and I am so enjoying it right now. I'm loving seeing all the throwback episodes and reliving all the great beginning humor. Speaking of humor, "that's what she said" is one of the funniest possibly jokes alive. And if you don't appreciate those kind of jokes, you suck and have no taste. You probably eat Vienna Sausages with mayonnaise.. Hahaha just kidding, but really, don't get mad when people make "twss" jokes. They are freaking hilarious and probably reflect actual phrases out of a sorostitutes mouth haha..!

Lastly, I have become one of those people.. The realization hit me today.. You know what group I am talking about.. I work for a doctor who has a dog named Bogart. Simple enough. Two syllables, one name, Bogart. Yeah right.. He is often called "Boge" by me.. Boge..?!? I can't freaking find the energy or time in my day to utter ONE MORE FLIPPIN' SYLLABLE..?! So I have become one of those people.. Lazy animal owners.. Here is the thing, if you don't want to say "Perducci" or "Miss Madeline the III" every damn time they need a treat, don't NAME THEM THAT..!
Yet, it gets worse.. I have also started EXTENDING his name.. Bogester, Bogestar, Bogee, Bogylicious.. The list continues.. I have become my worst fear.. Lazy and "imaginative" with pets.. I think I am going to be sick..

Have an awesome week and remember, tomorrow is hump* day..!

*Figure of speech, not a verb..

treykeesee

Happy Sunday, guys and gals..! I'm taking a break from watching the semifinals of the national Ultimate tournament to write my blog and relax a bit. By the way, I don't know if anyone here enjoys Whataburger, but it is freaking amazing.. Spicy ketchup, oh I'm sorry, you misspelled HEAVEN IN MY MOUTH.. And all the classic favorites like the Monterey Melt and the HBBQCSS (Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich for you newbies) are just damn good.. Gahh.. If you haven't given Whataburger a chance; A) Stop following my blog til you try it, and B) Go try it because I only have like 10 followers and I love my double-digits haha..!

Also, have you noticed how little an amount of food old people eat..? It's like, microscopic.. I mean, such a waste of food. They literally spend all their IRS and retirement money on $17 steaks and they nibble on it.. THEN, they get freakin' dessert..! Are we taste-testing here or giving away money, because I'm down with either.. I mean crap, someone should really look into that Wonka gum that is a full meal and let these old people "gum" it.. Pun intended..

I wonder who can spell positive words faster, Mackelmore or Aretha Franklin..?*

And to really cap off my day, we had family come over for a cookout in honor of Memorial Day. My cousin, Madison, picked up the dog and got mud on her.. I then walk into my room to find her putting on one of my shirts because "I don't want to get another one of my shirt's dirty..!". -___-
Then, she makes a hot dog.. with mustard.. And a side of Trey's shirt underneath.. To which she then says, and I quote, "Trey, can I borrow another shirt so I don't get this one anymore dirty..?"
Wow.. Okay, that'll do.. I don't mind my shirts going to crap for the glorious purpose of keeping your skin clean and filling your belly.. Sheesh.

Everyone have an awesome Memorial Day and a great start to your week..! :D

*If you get this, you're awesome haha

treykeesee

"It started out as a feeling, and then turned into a thought.."

You know what I like..? How an ATM can make you buy your own money.. Yeah, those stupid fees for using another bank's ATM literally make you pay for YOUR OWN money.. Coooool bro..

Last night I was watching Jimmy Fallon (awesome show, by the way) and drinking orange juice. His guest was a chef and there was milk on the set.. As I raised the glass of orange juice to my mouth the chef simultaneously raised the milk to his mouth and I got mind f**ked.. I have never in my life been so dumb-struck. My eyes and brain told me to taste milk while my mouth said it was orange juice and, in the end, it tasted like dead roses*.. Never again..

I was told by my best friend awhile ago that I am super hipster. As I pondered this statement, I realized I couldn't be hipster because it's too mainstream to be something known to people... Haha but seriously, I am super hipster.. List of reasons I am hipster.. I have Native American/New Mexican patterned clothes, I shopped at Goodwill before Mackelmore, I play ultimate and am good ha, I want dreads, I don't shave, hardly wear socks with shoes anymore, hardly wear my shirt in public anymore, I play disc golf,  listen to weird music, I am starting to lean Left with my political views, drink 40's, other unexplainables, and I plead the fifth with many other things.. But yeah, I guess I am.. Gayyyy

Lastly, I would like to clarify. Yeah, my Pam is out there somewhere and not here.. But guys, I am happy. I have some of the best friends in the world, I am loved beyond measure by both them and my family, and I am going in the right direction for what I want to do for the rest of my life. No, I am not a God of Friends with thousands flooding my phone and Facebook with "HMU..!" invites, but I love the people I do have in my life. I realized today, while clipping my toenails on the back porch, that I love life. I am the new captain of my soon-to-be Alma Mater's Ultimate team, I have a great job with an awesome boss, an amazing family who cares about my well-being, my grades are awesome and vet school is still a possibility, I have some of my best friends graduating this week and others home for the summer so I can either A) Miss them while they are gone, or B) Love seeing them while they are here for the summer..! So yes, I want a Pam.. I want to be in love.. I want to have someone to be there for me all the time, and be there for her 24/7, but I am good.. And in the end, it's the now that matters, not the future (See the paradox there..?).. “But, at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I’m going to be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money-wise.” -Micael Scott..

Music recommendation- The Call, Regina Spektor


*The smell of dead roses is so pungent I will NEVER buy them for any woman, or man**, that I truly care about.. I want to projectile vomit when I smell dead roses
**I'm not gay, shut the hell up..


Also, I would like to thank everyone for their AWESOME comments and compliments on this blog..! I feel truly honored that you enjoy it as much as you do and actually give it the time of day..!

2 in 1 day..?! Trey, you freaking rock...

Sometimes when kicking ass in Batman: Arkham City, I listen to the Les Miserables soundtrack and I feel invincible.

So, after tonight's AWESOME FLIPPIN' INCIDENT at BJ's restaurant, I decided I needed to blog again.. Here is the thing, when the person PAYING FOR THE FOOD HAS TO GET THREE DRINK REFILLS, RANCH, AND AN EXTRA PLATE something is wrong.. I was soooo fed up (no pun intended because I didn't get the correct food, thus didn't eat) that I nearly ripped the manager a new one. Yet, I decided that the restaurant deserved a severe verbal beating on a mediocre blog versus to their faces ha. I'm a rebel and a hipster.. whoot whoot.

Does anyone have celebrities that they are just too embarrassed to admit they adore or like..? Whether they be artists, actors, or simply people in the spotlight, everyone has those few whom they would NEVER admit to following on twitter or checking up on during the 2 in the morning ENews segment*.. Yet, I'll admit mine. What the hell, right..? Who cares what I think and I sure as hell don't care what anyone thinks of what I think when I start to think about it.. now.. I think that is what I meant..
Anyways, Nikki Minaj.. Okay yeah, I get it.. Butt like Pangia and attitude worse than..Well, wait, she already is a black woman.. OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH. But you have to give her credit for her insane rap skills and the fact that she has nasty verse..! (Nasty referencing the African-American use).
Second is Kat Von D... I personally think she has a beautiful heart... tattooed on her back hahaha.. No but really, she is super talented and has a very pretty face while being honest with her customers..! Can't be mad at that in this American economy...!!!

Lastly, I would really really like to recommend the Office to anyone whom doesn't already partake in this amazing series. The Office is literally the funniest, saddest, most faithful, most true, most absurd, and boldest show on the market. It aired for 9 seasons and actually just ended two weeks ago. And yes, I still cry when I watch the final two episodes. It has love in the most intimate ways and comedy in the most ignorant ways (not like Family Guy, please dear Buddha don't think it's like Family Guy). But seriously, watch it.. I reference it alot...

*Not that I would know what any of the stars do because I don't actually know if ENews comes at 2 AM central..

"Trey, I can teach you anything you need to know about tracking in 30 minutes or le.. Scratch that, TWENTY minutes or less. I have been tracking for 47 years now and nothing gets by me.."
"You've been tracking since you were four years old..?"
*Hesitates* "Uhh, yeah. I used to track lizards and eat them with my rabbits I caught.."
This conversation with my boss today about sums up work..

Today was alright, I guess. I felt very distant from everyone.. Ever have one of those days..? I saw an old lady driving down 82nd street with her hatch back of her cadillac open. At the stoplight I got out, ran up to her car, and tried to warn her. With this gesture, however, she assumed I was a hippie trying to rob her. She screamed. A lot. I gave her the dirtiest look I could, walked back to my car, and slammed her damn trunk in the process. People these days.. I wanted to rear end her, then when she got out to get my insurance, start screaming like I am being raped visually.. Whatever..

On a final note, I am at a loss.. I finished watching the finale of the Office (best TV show ever, mind you) for the millionth time, and cried yet again. Not because it ended. But because of Jim and Pam's love for each other. Now, I know it sounds cheesy, but they are seriously the perfect example of falling in love that I can see in my life today, fictional or not. I want to find my Pam. And there are many days that I think I have. She beautiful, brilliant, bright, bold, other words that don't start with a B, smart, amazing, eccentric, a true go-getter, and one of my best friends. Yet, we don't live in the same city. Somedays it feels like she is like 929 miles away. I want to be her all because I know she can be mine. I am so scared though. Who wouldn't be, right..? If she is my Pam, am I destined to play the best friend and wait for the right time..? 8 months or so down the line, will she even remember my name, or will college life take the toll and she forget that I love her. If she is my Pam, do I have to endure the heartache that accompanies that roll..? The rejection, the pain, the time..
But then you ask, if she is my Pam, will I be forever happy. Will I marry my best friend, my lover, my everything..? Will I smile everyday knowing that I made the best choice ever enduring the first "four seasons" to get to the glorious last "five"..? The more I type, the more I realize she is my Pam. All the other's never were. They were speed-bumps, Karens, and wastes of time. But this girl, she is my Pam. And all I pray is that I can be the best Jim that has ever walked the earth..

treykeesee

Hey guys, what's up..? Today was another crappy freaking day in terms of health. I am still feeling pretty sick, but hopefully tomorrow will bring better health.

Just then I tried to type "it's" and it auto-corrected it to "lying, cheating, thieving bastards from.." Oh, I mean "IRS".. Haha sorry, my blog, my rules.. I guess this whole thing with the IRS targeting conservatives and Republicans has kind of been swept under the rug. But why, they are seriously RUINING every got-dang thing America stands for.. Free enterprise, freedom, free ____. Bull-crap if I ever saw any. You know it's bad when both democrats AND republicans are crucifying someone.

Second reason today sucked. Have you ever had that moment when you're at your favorite restaurant, see something utterly disgusting, and have to remind yourself that it is your favorite place so you're not allowed to complain..?? I stood in line at Whataburger today, watched this mentally-ill woman move the fries with her bare hands (which had just picked dried ketchup off the table) so she could see the receipt, while I slowly chanted "I love this food, I love this place, I love this food, I love this place.." I was somewhere between leaving, knowing I was avoiding poor sanitation standards, or grabbing my food anyways and pigging out.
"Yeah just make sure to give me lots of Spicy Ketchup.."
Needless to say, I gave in..

And on a final note, I am currently looking for someone to work with me. Normally, this would be my boss's duty to find a coworker but due to his state of not "knowing any of these local yocal motherfuckers.." it has become my duty to find people. I have, though, posted two compilation videos of him on YouTube for your viewing pleasure..! He is an awesome guy with a great heart, but completely insane.. You'll see what I am talking about ha. Here is link one, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7mR37qe8tw 
And link dos..!
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gAzJ4f9yz8

Enjoy and goodnight..!
treykeesee

With my first post I have literally no idea what to write about.. My thought is that all the damn hypocrites that asked me to write this blog aren't going to look at this once ha. I guess my first thing I should do is thank you for taking the time out of your OH SO BUSY DAY to look at this mediocre paragraph of writing. Also, just for warning, don't piss me off by posting bull-crap comments on this blog. I'm very fluent and have great vernacular dialect for my age. So just try me.

On a happier note, I have a conundrum for you. What time does evening start..? I was posed with this question when someone very close to me said "It's 6:30, it already is nighttime.."
Excuse me..? 6:30 cannot be nighttime. Now 8:00, that is definitely night. 6 o' clock..? That is evening, perhaps late evening. Which then poses the question, what is 7:00..?!?! Late evening, early night..? Both sound wrong.. While that hurts your head, think about 4:00.. Yeah, you're welcome.

Peace out..!

treykeesee