I took yesterday off because I was in a really crappy mood and didn't want to rant. Yet, due to the overwhelming number of complainers and "Why didn't you post"s, I'll post today..!

"I bet you'd really enjoy backpacking across Europe..!" -Trey
"Yeah.. F**k.. The way I like to walk my fat ass around the property I'd love about a thousand miles of it in a place where I can't even read the menu properly.. There may have been a time, but not this f**king time.." -My boss..

One of the worst things for a guy, ladies, is when he tries to open a door for you, and it's an epic fail. I'm talking like, he hits you with the door, has to push past you to get it, or punches your boob reaching for the handle. FAILURE... The physical and mental effort a guy has to put in to opening a door is tremendous. He has to see the door, assess the situation, check you out one more time before walking ahead of you, then open the door. But here is the thing.. A lot of these buildings nowadays are made by frickin' men-hating psychotics.. So the door will open funny, or be a push in an obvious pull scenario.. One, making the male seem incompetent (of which he probably doesn't need help) and, two, resulting in a straight up left-hook to the boob. Awesome..

I've started re-watching the Office from season 1 and I am so enjoying it right now. I'm loving seeing all the throwback episodes and reliving all the great beginning humor. Speaking of humor, "that's what she said" is one of the funniest possibly jokes alive. And if you don't appreciate those kind of jokes, you suck and have no taste. You probably eat Vienna Sausages with mayonnaise.. Hahaha just kidding, but really, don't get mad when people make "twss" jokes. They are freaking hilarious and probably reflect actual phrases out of a sorostitutes mouth haha..!

Lastly, I have become one of those people.. The realization hit me today.. You know what group I am talking about.. I work for a doctor who has a dog named Bogart. Simple enough. Two syllables, one name, Bogart. Yeah right.. He is often called "Boge" by me.. Boge..?!? I can't freaking find the energy or time in my day to utter ONE MORE FLIPPIN' SYLLABLE..?! So I have become one of those people.. Lazy animal owners.. Here is the thing, if you don't want to say "Perducci" or "Miss Madeline the III" every damn time they need a treat, don't NAME THEM THAT..!
Yet, it gets worse.. I have also started EXTENDING his name.. Bogester, Bogestar, Bogee, Bogylicious.. The list continues.. I have become my worst fear.. Lazy and "imaginative" with pets.. I think I am going to be sick..

Have an awesome week and remember, tomorrow is hump* day..!

*Figure of speech, not a verb..

treykeesee